Woodnewton Ontario Cup

I am happy with yesterday, I'm not happy with yesterday. It was exactly what I needed. I know sounds confusing but it will make sense in a minute. So wandered my way down to Woodnewton yesterday, feeling lighter than I've been in a while, music blasting, sunshining, heading to a course that I like. Had a great warmup with Paul from the lapdogs, thanks for the advice, my head was in the game today. I did something that I haven't done in a while, written on the back of my plate was "don't think, just pedal" My head used to get m in trouble over thinking, this is just a reminder. Rolled in with the pack, waiting for our time. For now I'm still being smart and starting at the back, I think my fitness is there but it's really not proven yet to me so it's easier to move forward from the back than fading the other way. First lap was like that, I started conservative, I know where my streghts are and pinning it of the start isn't it. First climb done and a few passed, Feeling good, kept it steady, by mid way I was seeing my streghts kick in, I love singletrack. Started to pick up the pace in there to compensate what I would lose in the climbs. Seemed to be working as I picked off a couple more fast starters. Lap two was pretty much a blurr but three had me see that I was pushing the body hard with a couple stupid bobbles that cost me a few seconds each time. Looking in the rear view I could see Scott, the planning started. Last lap, at this point I had maybe 15 to 20 seconds on Scott, I was pushing hard everywhere I could, I had to give it a little harder on the climbs if I wanted to hold him off. First climb still ahead, good, tech section ahead but a bobble, still ahead, then it happened, he caught me on the fast flat section with a hard attack, I didn't respond. I could feel the cramps and with fear I didnt step on it. Patients. I started to gain back up on the sweeping downhill but Scott gained that back on the last big climb. Ok, focus Spak. No climbing left I started to push and take risks in the singletrack, there is still time to catch him. Over the next km and a bit I gained a few seconds back, close enough that I saw him but far enough I wouldn't catch Scott, 10 seconds down finishing 14th. I'm happy, I pushed hard, I suffered, I had fun, I was riding bikes with my friends on a great course on a spectacular day. I felt like me again, my first big steps to being in a happy place again. Now that I've made my steps forward in personal life I can now make the steps forward needed to get me faster. I see my road bike and I spending some serious quality time together over the next two weeks before hardwood. I need to work on that going up stuff. Thanks again to Liz for handing me bottles, thanks to everyone else for their support over the last few weeks. It's very appreciated. MNS ride tonight, looking forward to it. Not sure if the blogger is still making one paragraph, if so, I'm sorry.